There's Nothing Like...

...having the day off and waking up at 5:30am.

Happy Tunesday motherfuckers! In Hiding is from one of my all time favorite records. And it's really relevant to me right now. I'm taking a little blogger/social respite to refresh. See you all soon! :-)

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Happy Thanksgiving Peeps!

Happy Turkey Day

Guess what our appetizer is going to be!

I just got back from my second viewing of Rent. I went with Kelly and Mike. We were fortunate to go see it the exact same time as Mr. Johnson's high school drama class. We were surrounded by a pack of wild teenagers.

At first I thought it was annoying, but then it became interesting. You could tell which of the boys were gay (like the queen in front of me who sat with the two girls and used his hands to accentuate EVERY DRAMATIC POINT he had to make) and which of the boys were straight (like the boy seated to the right of me who was trying not to be a nervous wreck next to a girl he liked). It was also cool because they clapped and shouted at all the right points.

Anyway, check out this Web site for a laugh. It's so fucking funny. It's laugh out loud funny. It's a list of real Weight Watcher recipe cards with humorous commentary.

La la la la la la la la la La la la la la la la La la la la la la la la la La la la la la la la

Spice up your life

I have a confession to make. I like the Spice Girls. Let me clarify. I've never bought any of their records, but I have a few of their songs on my computer. And when the songs play, I do a little shimmy in my chair (that's as close to dancing as I get).

I really love the song Spice Up You Life. It was super popular when I worked at The Hippo in Baltimore. As you know most of my musical tastes leans to rock. So working at a dance club can suck at times. But whenever Spice Up Your Life played, I instantly got energy. I cut my limes and oranges faster, I could stack multiple cases of beer on my shoulders with ease and lugging ice around in giant buckets was no big deal.

So happy Tunesday everyone! Download this song, you'll thank me later. Having a bad day at work? Crank it up and do a little dance. You'll feel better.

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Magic Man

harry
Originally uploaded by veryapeaz.

I finally had a chill weekend. Friday night, I went to my friend Dena's 35th birthday party. It was me and about 25 elementary school teachers--all female. Let me just say one thing. Those bitches are C R A Z Y. All are great story tellers and I laughed my ass off.

I split around 9:30 and went home. Despite being super tired, I stayed up until 12:30 reading. Then I went to bed and woke up at SIX FREAKING THIRTY in the morning. I HATE when that happens. It's so frustrating! Why can't I sleep when I have the chance?

Saturday, Sloppy Joey and I went bowling. We decided to bowl three games for 7 points (2 pts. per game and 1 pt. for overall pins) and winner gets something (we didn't say what before we started). I did pretty well having not bowled in a few months. I almost lost the last game though. I was down 6 pins and SJ bowled a strike and a spare in the 10th. Due to my Über competitive nature, I bowled two strikes and a 9 in the 10th. I kind of felt bad because I didn't need to win that last game and it would have been a nice gesture to throw the last game. But I'm sick in the head.

I really do have a mental illness when it comes to competition. Maybe one day I'll fix that, but I doubt it.

Anywho.... I have to decide what I won... laundry services for a month? being addressed as sir or emperor?

What do you guys think? I'm open to situations.

Saturday night Jeffy, Ryan and Amanda, Aneezah, Kevin and I went to Rock Bottom for Kevin's birthday. Then we went to see Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.

This was probably my favorite Harry Potter book. It's also one of the longest. And a 2 1/2 hour movie just can't do it justice. It was pretty good though.

Emma Watson who plays Hermione Granger is turning into a beautiful young woman. I know she's only a young teen but she's turning into quite the looker. The other kids are fine actors. Daniel Radcliffe and Rupert Grint do a standup job and seem to improve with each film.

But the real star of the movie is Stanislav Ianevski who plays Quidditch Cup and Triwizards Tournament star Viktor Krum. His ability to convey meaning and emotion without uttering a word is fantastic. Just look at this picture here. Or this one here. He's talking to me through his eyes. I'm thinking I might need to stalk find Mr. Ianevski to discuss our future together.

That's about it for the weekend. I knocked out my computer column. Now I need to work on an article for Echo. We have a very short week, and I've got a shitload of writing to do before Tuesday night. So I better get cracking.

Hope everyone had good weekends!

There will always be women in rubber flirting with me!

maureen1
Originally uploaded by veryapeaz.

As you know, I got to see an advanced screening of RENT, last night. I was so afraid that the queens in this town were going to get there hours ahead of time. So, I made Angi, Sloppy Joey and Buddy meet me there at 5. I guess there aren't any die-hard RENT heads in the Valley, cuz the line didn't start til 6.

First, a little aside. We were laughing at SJ because he took a few different "Which RENT character are you?" quizzes. Each one said he was Joanne, even after declaring his gender as being male. The following converation ensued:

Ted: I don't need to take one because I know who I am.
Angi: Who's that?
Ted: Maureen

Simultaneously spoken without so much as a second transpiring after the N left my lips.
Angi: Oh GOD yes!
Buddy: Yes definitely!
(note the exclamation points)

Thanks guys. :-P

So, they finally let us into the theater but there's a hiccup. No cell phones with cameras are allowed in. I took Angi's and my phones to Guest Services and checked them in. Then I had to empty my pockets and get wanded by security. I've gotten into Metallica concerts with less trouble.

SPOILERS: IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW ABOUT CHANGES FROM THE MUSICAL TO THE MOVIE PLEASE DON'T READ ANYMORE

Finally, the moment had arrived. The lights dimmed and Seasons of Love starts playing. They moved it from the beginning of Act II, to the opening number. But it's just like the musical--all of the actors are standing there in a line. Shortly after, RENT starts--there are no singing voice messages.

The sound was really low and I had to strain to hear. In fact, I could hear the guy eating popcorn behind me better than the entire company screaming out against social injustice. Fortunately, the manager kept walking up and down the aisle (to ensure we weren't bootlegging the movie) and upped the sound.

I wasn't crazy about how they did RENT. They cut out all of Joanne's lines, so there's this weird instrumental part where she's supposed to be singing. And it seemed really BIG. RENT, the musical not the song, is pretty minimalistic and I was concerned that everything was going to be BIGGER.

But the rest was pure magic. In fact, it was much more intimate than seeing it in a theater.

Much of it is a blur now. I do know that everybody in it was either great or fan-fucking-tastic.

Personally, every time Jesse L. Martin was in a scene my eyes were glued on him. He has this screen presence that makes you want to focus solely on him (plus he's a hottie).

For some reason they cut out Halloween and Goodbye Love, despite being on the Official Movie Soundtrack. From the stage production they cut out a lot of songs, noticeably You Okay Honey, We're Okay, Christmas Bells and Happy New Year. They used dialogue in place of the songs. I was most upset about Christmas Bells. I love that song. Maybe it'll show up on the DVD.

Anyway, as Buddy mentioned in his comments Without You and I'll Cover You (reprise) were just gut wrenching. What I liked about the movie version is that during Without You the friends stayed together. In the musical (if memory serves me correctly) they all split up after New Year's and don't get back together until Angel's funeral. In the movie they are all at his bedside, visiting him as he gets increasingly sicker. I liked the idea that the friends banded together, despite all of the relationship drama. But it was just so painful to see Angel sick and Collins' reaction. And the movie is quite graphic. You can see lesions on Angel's face and he can barely keep his eyes open.

Despite all of the death and turmoil, the movie ends on an up note. Yeah!

Our row of people waited until the credits rolled out their entirety, humming along to the music (or singing if you're SJ). Ever the smart ass (I think I've used that description on him before), Buddy yelled out, "What? No funny outtakes?"

I'm so excited to see it again! I'm going Wednesday night, possibly with Steven and Kelly. I think I'm going to see it again after dinner on Turkey Day. Run out and see this film. If you are a RENT hater and hate the film, please do me a favor and check yourself into the hospital. Cuz bitches, you ain't got no heart.

What's the time?

rent
Originally uploaded by veryapeaz.

Well it's gotta be close to midnight
My body's talking to me
It says, "Time for danger"
It says "I wanna commit a crime
Wanna be the cause of a fight
Wanna put on a tight skirt and flirt
With a stranger"
I've had a knack from way back
At breaking the rules once I learn the games
Get up - life's too quick
I know someplace sick
Where this chick'll dance in the flames


OK. I promised a review but I'm fucking tired. It's past midnight and I've got a 12+ hour day tomorrow that starts shortly.

I'll just say that RENT rocked! I was very happy with it. In fact, it turned out better than I thought.

To give an idea of how good it was, listen to this... I don't cry often. I usually cry every other year or so. The last time I cried was when Kevin and I broke up close to two years ago (Jan. 2004). Tonight tears were streaming down my face for a good twenty minutes or so... NONSTOP!

It was funny too (at the right places). Too amazing!

I stopped comparing it to the stage production about 10 minutes in. It stands on its own.

Jesse L. Martin is such an amazing actor/singer--heads and shoulders above the rest. I love him in this and not just cuz he smokes a lot of weed. Overall, everybody was excellent.

OK. Time for bed. I'll post a full review tomorrow night.

Clinging -- a shoulder, a leap begins. Stinging and older, asleep on pins. So here we go

maureen
Originally uploaded by veryapeaz.

5 HOURS and counting.

What? How can this be. The movie doesn't get released until the 23rd. BUTT!!! A beautiful drag queen came into my office and handed Buddy and me an invite to see an Advanced Screening of RENT!!

After I wiped away my tears of joy, I immediately e-mailed Sloppy Joey to see if he wanted to go. He agreed.

Then this morning Tim walked around and handed out extra passes. So.... I got to invite some more friends. Of course, getting any work done today has been a struggle at best.

So... I'll post my review tonight when I get home.

Take Me Or Leave Me

ChristiannNNNNN!

8 days and counting

So this whole Marguerite OR Margaret Perrin (she's not sure) thing has taken me by storm. I'm obsessed with her. I've been reading all of the message boards and blogs that discuss her. Fortunately, 90% of America thinks she's a crazy bitch. I think that's her charm.

If you want to see a better and longer video than yesterday's post, check out this link.

Hopefully, if I read enough and write enough about her I'll stop using words like dark-sided and SCREAMINNNNNNG everything out. The guys at work are getting annoyed and Jeffy is getting scared.

In other news. Is anyone having issues with comments? I've had several people tell me that they are having problems posting comments to my blog. And I've had problems commenting on other blogs. It looks like it goes through but then it disappears. I turned off comment verification--BIG MISTAKE. After getting about 20 spam comments I turned it back on. Funny. My friends can't post a comment but Holden Tees can.

So lots of blogs have cute little things they do on certain days--like Persian Guy's Half Naked Thursday. I'm not posting half naked pictures of myself (well, at least not for free), but I thought it would be fun (for me) to do Tunes for Tuesday.

Since I only have one more week to Rent, I figured I'd start with Take Me Or Leave Me and give a little background. When Rent first came out, my friend Bryan swore that I was Maureen. And I have to say (sheepishly) that there was a lot of Maureen in me ten years ago. Especially when Kevin and I were first dating. He was definitely the Joanne to my Maureen. Read whatever subtexts you want in there. Today, I might be less selfish now (just a little) than Maureen, but I've still got that whole "gotta be me, gotta be free" attitude.

Here are the lyrics. Here's the streaming version. And here's the MP3 (just right click and save).

So, if you were a Rent character. Who would you be? Go ahead and post -- even you Rent haters.

Everybody stares at me. Boys. Girls. I can't help it baby.

I think it's because of the uniform....
Ten days and counting.


It was another interesting weekend. In didn't turn out as well as I hoped. But my horoscope was correct, Saturday was a day of "romance." According to Astrologyzone:
On November 12, a Saturday, Venus will playfully contact Uranus, setting the scene for magic and moonlight, particularly if you're single and not dating. The moon will be in Aries too, so it truly is perfect.

No cracks about playfully contacting my anus. :-P

Let me backtrack. Friday night I stayed in. Despite drunken phone calls from the rugby boys, I rebuked temptation and watched TV and played Xbox.

Saturday morning, I waited for Jay to get to my house. We were going to workout together and then watch a rugby match in Scottsdale, but he was a no-show (he had too much fun the previous night). So I had a great workout and then watched the Lady Blues play NAU. It was a great match and it was fun to hang w/ the rugby boys as always.

Saturday night I headed over to Jeff's. I won't recount the night since he did a good job of that, but I'll fill in some spots.

When I first got to Jeff's he was watching Trading Spouses. I've never seen the show (I'm not a huge reality show fan) and I won't watch it again, but it was entertaining. The idea is for two moms to switch families (no, they don't sleep with the dads). Anyway, there was this nasty bitch on there who said things like "rebuke," "dark-side," and "CHRISTIAN!!!!!" This bitch was crazy. She couldn't handle the fact that the family she stayed with were new agers. In other words, "THEY WEREN'T CHRISTIANNNNNN!" And she was SO full of the Holy Spirit, that it required her to wear a size 46 dress. Click here to watch her flip out. The funny thing is, the bitch is from NEW ORLEANS. They practically invented Voodoo and Hoodoo. The family she stayed with read horoscopes, what's the big deal?

On the way to the party we were laughing at me being a jackass and singing Heart Shaped Box last week. In a weird twist of fate, the song came on the radio as we were talking about it. Insert spooky music here.

I made Jeff take our picture at Circle K (read his story for the account).

The MEAT party was fun. At one point in the evening, I walked outside trying to find everyone. I ended up standing next to a guy who gave me the lookover. This was our conversation:
Me: Hi
Him: Hi
Me: I'm Ted. How's it going?
Him: I'm Ethan Kane (porn star name inserted, real name changed to protect the guilty). I'm trying to figure out a way to get your number before you leave me.
Me: That worked, pull out your cell phone and I'll tell you.

So we talked for about five minutes. He made me laugh and he was cute and seemed like he wasn't psycho. I talked to him today on the phone. We're going to do something later this week.

At the party (an indoor/outdoor affair), they had these huge screens set up. They showed clips from Top Gun (remember when Tom Cruise wasn't psycho? but now he's a SCIENTOLOGISSSSSSTTTT!) and other military movies. But once the movies stopped the scenes on the screens switched over to showing pictures of people's penises (from previous MEAT parties). That was our cue to high-tail it outta there. Todd stayed, I guess he enjoyed what he saw.

While at the MEAT party, one of my rugger mates (we'll call him Rugger A) started kissing me. It was odd. I couldn't figure out what the hell was going on. But I didn't say anything because it takes me awhile to process things like that.

I somehow managed to fit Jeff, Rich and Drew (all big forward types) in the back seat of my Focus. It probably wasn't comfortable for them, but it was pretty funny. We hit Charlie's.

At Charlie's, I ran into Mike--one of Mr. X's and Steven's friends. He's a sweet guy from Texas with a cute lil' accent. Hung out with him for a bit.

Then Rugger A was kissing on me and holding my hand and it was getting a bit overwhelming for me. I won't go into our conversation but I think everything's cool between us now.

Joe decided wrestle around on the beach volleyball court with Rich and received a strong warning. Then Joe said something mean to Barbra. Me being a good friend decided to defend her honor. My jumping on Joe landed us in the volleyball pit and earned us another stern warning from security. We finally found ourselves getting kicked out of Charlie's (which is almost as humiliating as last week's debacle w/ Steven).

Once again I found myself sleeping on Jeffy's couch and eating his food. I'm thinking the next time I walk into his house, there's going to be a bill for room and board.

To make a weird night even stranger, I received a text message from one of my rugger mates, saying not to talk to him for a couple of weeks. It turns out he liked me (I found out from someone else) but never said anything. I'm guessing he didn't like seeing what transpired between Rugger A and me (which really wasn't anything). This sucks because I like hanging with him. It also sucks because I'm afraid I may have hurt two people's feelings and there's nothing I can do about it.

Somehow my very simple life has turned into a complex web of different emotional entanglements. It's not much fun when that happens. It's kind of a helpless feeling. I hope everything gets resolved soon.

For Being An Us For Once, Instead of a Them, La Vie Boheme

Joe, Me, Greg

12 Days and Counting

Happy Veterans Day!

First let me say, I don't even understand why I joined the army. I mean, I was never particularly patriotic. Even as a little kid I never understood the concept of countries. I still don't get it. I think it's absolutely stupid that we have to have visas to live or work on another part of the earth. And I've never believed that the USA was the end-all be-all. Granted, I love the US. But I love Germany just as much and would be a very happy man if I spent the rest of my days back there. And I'd rather live in Odessa, Ukraine than Odessa, Texas.

But I can't believe how long it has been since I first enlisted. And I can't believe how long I've been a civilian. Who could have guessed that those four years of my life would have been so formative? It was more important than high school, learning how to walk or talk or do anything else in life.

And I think the biggest thing I took from that experience was not only how to break the rules, but how necessary it was to break the rules. Until I joined the army, I was so straightlaced it wasn't even funny.

I never broke the rules when I was younger. I never got in trouble at school. And I hardly ever got into trouble at home. At least I didn't get into any serious trouble. I was definitely a smart-assed kid, but I didn't steal or cuss or do drugs. I was a pretty good kid.

But after about 2 days in the army, I realized how ridiculous rules were. And how stupidly they were enforced. It took some goofy friends to help me understand that the only way to survive was to laugh it off. The best way to laugh it off is to break the rules but never let anyone realize you're doing it.

So the army helped me lighten up a bit and for that I'm grateful. For a good portion of our day we were under stress. You are constantly under a microscope--hair, clothes, shoes, actions, etc. Even happy days--like getting a promotion has some sort of hell attached to it. It's not like you get a bigger check, a pat on the back and everyone takes you out for lunch.

Just look at this promotion ceremony. It's a typical cold miserable German day. We didn't get to put on our dress uniform. We got socked with freezing cold water and then had to walk the gauntlet. That's when you two rows of men line up on either side and beat the shit out of your arms as you S L O W L Y walk through. Ever heard of blood rank? It hurts!

So when you finally got a moment's peace it was time to just let your hair down (what little hair we had). Here's my friend George, proving his theory that you can always fit one more thing into a flight bag.

My rule breaking ventures started off small. Here's an example. It was the day after Christmas and we were stuck at Ft. Devens in intelligence school because of the first Iraq War (I didn't go to Iraq until later that summer). We weren't allowed to go home on leave and there was nothing to do but go to school during the day. But at night we had ourselves a little fun. My friend Mike and I built an anatomically correct snowwoman in front of somebody's barracks. She came down not long after we built her, but nobody knew it was us.

Then when I was in Germany, I found myself in a leadership position. It was an eye opening experience. I never had people's lives in my hands before. If something happened to them, on or off-duty, it was my fault. I started to get grey hair. It was stressful, but I did little things to ease the stress.

My friend Clay and I (good Lord, I look young in that pic!) would take a red pen to orders and memos posted in the hallways and in the motor pool. We would correct them for grammar and spelling and then give a grade. Again, it's not much of a big deal. But it's enough to get you through. And it still makes me laugh today.

But my best way of bucking the rules came on Sgt's Day. Every Thursday the squad leaders had to give instruction from 8am - 4pm. It was an entire day of boring shit. I hated sitting in a classroom listening to some jackass drone on and on about nuclear and biological weapons. So, when I became a squad leader I started taking my guys out for reconnaissance. Once we were far enough in the forest, we would unpack our shit and read all day. It was a good day of rest and the guys loved me for it.

So for all you veterans out there, HAPPY VETERANS DAY! And if you are not a veteran, learn from me. Start breaking the rules. Have a little fun with life. Life's too short not to.

To Faggots, Lezzies, Dykes, Cross Dressers Too

Rollercoaster
Originally uploaded by veryapeaz.

To me, to me, to you, and you, you and you. 14 days and counting...

Let me clarify my last post. My sister Lorraine e-mailed me and told me to stop being so full of myself. That was NOT the intention, although it probably read that way. So, if it came across that way, let me offer my humble apologies.

In other news... Despite my heart being on the back seat of a rollercoaster lately (you don't feel the side to side motion as much, but damn you those peaks and valleys are KILLERS), I'm feeling really good. In fact, knowing that I can still feel like a stupid school girl with a crush is a good thing. As I've gotten older, that side of me has kind of gotten thrown by the way side. It's good to know it's still there. But it's time to fix some stupid stuff inside of me, so that if I do find myself in a situation where I like someone (and they actually like me back), I can ensure that it'll be a good situation for the both of us.

But that's not the point of this post (that was just a weird aside). The point is, I've found myself in an enviable situation. I am surrounded by some amazing people. The people I work with are fucking hysterical. Yesterday, Buddy and Richard were talking and it was like watching a comedy routine. In fact, the material was funnier than anything on TV. They're also incredibly sweet and good people in addition to being funny.

I've also found myself in a brotherhood of men, also known as the rugby team. There is a true sense of "you first, me second" mentality at work there. It's comforting to know that there are a bunch of guys who have your back no matter what.

My blogging world is full of interesting and disparate people and I find myself thinking about them (and not just when I'm at the computer). First, there's Jeff and Jay--enough can't be written on how much I appreciate their friendships. And Joe is becoming a great new edition to my crazy world. Saturday night, I wished Kim could have seen the rugby match. I also wished that Zepp Goddess was partying it up with me afterward, because I was drinking like I hadn't in years and thought she could appreciate it.

Anyway.... there's a host of others in my life that I'm really grateful for. So here's a big thank you for making my life better! Oh, I lost that guy's phone number from Saturday night, so it wasn't meant to be.

They Say I Have the Best Ass Below 14th St. Is It True?

JackAss
Originally uploaded by veryapeaz.

This is one of my favorite lines from Light My Candle.

There's another line where Mimi sings, I think that I dropped my stash. My friend Bryan and I always sing, I think that I dropped my snatch. I'm such a fourth grader because it still cracks me up. I'm laughing as I type this.

Anyway... I've gotten three compliments on my butt this week, so I thought the title was appropriate. I don't know what to make of that. I guess nothing. As Buddy always says, "It is what it is."

In other news... I found a phone number in my rugby shorts from Saturday night. I kind of remember talking to someone new. I don't know how long I was talking to him--it could have been five minutes or five hours. He slipped his name and number in my pocket. Should I call? I guess the easy thing is to not do a thing. But it could be a fun little experiment to see what happens.

Not much else going on.

No Day But Today

Silver Cup

What a weekend! I feel like that's my new catchphrase. It certainly was a weekend of extreme HIGHS and LOWS.

Friday night, Mr. X and I went out (as friends). We had gone to lunch once since he unceremoniously dumped me and had a good time. So, we thought it would be fun to do dinner and a little bar hopping.

The first part of the evening was excellent. I laughed MY ASS OFF. I'd forgotten how funny, intelligent and charming he could be. It was shaping up to be a fun evening. We played a little pool--I got lucky and won once, he won twice. We ran into some mutual friends at one bar and had some laughs.

But then he started SLAMMING drinks. Big time. And his mood darkened. Considerably. He made some inappropriate comments -- he used the S word to describe Hispanics and told an acquaintance of mine that he looked like BJORK. Umm. That's just not right. So, I had to have a little discussion with Mr. X after we left -- he didn't like it but I don't care.

I ended up calling it an early night because I was tired and I didn't want to see where Mr. X was going to take his dark mood. Fortunately, Buddy was at the last bar we hit and agreed to take him home. I felt bad for Buddy (especially after he text messaged me with the word ASSHOLE). So I texted back that I would buy Buddy's ticket to Rent and would get him a date w/ his favorite rugby player.

SATURDAY'S A RUGBY DAY!

Saturday we all met up in North Phoenix to play the Cave Creek Critters. It was a night match. It was fun to play under the lights--there's a different feel to the whole game. Of course, this means that I had all day to think about the game. I didn't like that -- it's too stressful. I'd rather just do it first thing in the day so I don't have time to dwell over anything.

Anyway, I wrapped up my toe with moleskin and lamb's wool. I think it survived pretty well considering I couldn't walk in shoes just a few days prior. Yes, my foot looks ugly -- I need to put some moisturizer on it.

My biggest concern was my leg. It turns out I tore my adductor muscle. Here's a picture of the bruise. It's not as bad as it was two weeks ago. But it's still pretty ugly.

Anyway, I tried wrapping it with an ace bandage over my compression shorts, but it just wasn't working well. So, I said, "Fuck it," and prayed that it would hold up.

The game went really well. I think (and Coach Phill and spectators confirmed this) that this was our best game yet. We seemed to play with a purpose and executed as well as we ever have. My first ten minutes were great. After that I thought I played like crap and even apologized to the coach after. It just felt like I had no strength in my right leg. I felt like I was running in quicksand.

At the end of the game, I walked over to where Jeffy was standing. To my huge surprise, Steve was standing with him. Steve didn't tell me he was coming up to watch the game, so that was really cool.

We all headed over to the Dubliner for the drinkup. To my utter amazement, Coach Rich got up on stage and named me Man of the Match for our team. Considering that I felt like I had let the team down with my poor play, I was just dumbfounded. I just kind of sat there and then I walked up to the stage. I think I stopped by and hugged Coach Phill and said, "What the fuck?"

So, they game me a pitcher of beer and they gave the Man of the Match for the Critters a pitcher of beer. We're supposed to race each other as the entire bar cheers and chants. Now, I can't drink beer fast. Never could. And this mother fucker standing next to me had downed half his pitcher before the first drop of liquid touched the back of my throat. Since I lost the beer race, the rest of the beer got poured over my head. It was FUCKING FREEZING! And some of the beer managed to get under my compression shorts. So I was sitting in a puddle of beer for a good hour or two until I peeled em off.

In addition to a beer bath, I got to wear Coach Rich's silver cup. The cup must never be empty of beer. And believe me, it wasn't.

It was such a tremendous feeling. I still can't describe what it felt like to be honored in such a way. Let me just say it was one of the greatest moments of my life. :-)

At the drinkup, Jason Adonis called and said he'd meet us at Charlie's. I said, "Great!"

Jeff said, "You realize J.A. and Steve will be in the same room." I was drunk--the more the merrier I thought.

It's interesting to note that nobody calls Jason Adonis by his real name. I'm waiting for the day I slip up and call him that. Hasn't happened.... yet.

I also learned that Jay and the other ruggers call me Ted Homosexual, based on a Will & Grace episode. Nice.

Anyway, after singing some traditional rugby songs, we headed over to Charlie's (Jeff driving, of course). On the drive to Charlie's I managed to get out of my wet compression shorts and slipped on some underwear. AAAH. A dry butt is a happy one.

At Charlie's, I got even more drunk. But I didn't care. I was a very happy camper. I had a lot of my rugger buddies with me, Jeffy and I were laughing, Steve was there, JA was there. It was great.

Until I decided to embarrass the hell out of myself. I asked Jeffy to play interference for me and talk to JA (who was talking to Steve) while I pulled Steve away. So, I got Steve in a corner and did one of those, "I think you're the best thing since sliced bread," types of drunk speeches. After I was done, I told Jeffy we had to go, so we did.

BUT THAT'S NOT ALL!

Steve ended up at Jeff's house a little later in the evening (by now it's like 3am). So there I am, my body reeks of alcohol and sweat (no I hadn't showered yet), my breath is a mixture of Dentyne Ice and 40 types of cheap beer and my knees are bloodied and I'm trying to win Steve over looking/smelling like this?

NOT.

Anyway, we stayed up all night (til 6) talking/kissing.

I think I hit a new low. If memory serves me correctly, I serenaded him by singing Nirvana's Heart Shaped Box. Yes, it was that bad. Especially because midway through my singing, I went into my normal 10 minute diatribe on how much I hate Courtney Love and how she killed Kurt. But at least I can laugh about it tonight.

Steve was sweet enough to sleep with me on the couch--despite my stench. He got up at 8:30 and went home. I got up at 11. Jeff took me to my car and then I came home and worked on my freelance column.

So, my horoscope says next Saturday is going to be a romance day for me. Hopefully, I'll meet someone that I like and I'll get over this Steve thing, cuz it's killing me.

The Nurse Took Him Home for Some Mercurochrome

Writer's Block
Originally uploaded by veryapeaz.

Not much to say...

Went to practice last night but didn't participate because of my toe. Some described it as looking like "raw meat" and "ground beef" but honestly it's much better.

I was able to wear shoes to work today instead of flip flops. I'm just wearing socks at my desk because I want it to get a lot of air. It'll be ready for Saturday.

It sucked watching practice and not being able to do anything. At least I only missed two practices.

I feel bad for the REALLY injured. Like Brian who showed up with his shoulder in a sling (he had some tendons seperate). Or Jay, who most like will never be able to play again. That just bites.

One thing I learned last night at practice is Joe really sweats. And it's best not to make fun of him because he will cover you in his sweatiness and try to rub his nasty drenched shirt all over your face.

I didn't go to Roscoes after practice. And judging from Jeffy's text messages today, it sounds like I missed a good time. :-P

Here's the last of the church recordings. It's entitled, What Song Is That? I love the part where she attempts to sing and realizes she's WAY out of her range and gives a little squeak. So she stops and tries again.