The hung and the breastless

joshua
Originally uploaded by veryapeaz.

My boss got me hooked on The Young and the Restless. He turns it on every day at 11am and for one hour, time stops in our office.

There is no way avoiding the show. Our office is tiny. My chair is less than 18 inches from Buddy's desk and less than 6 feet from the TV.

So... it's not like I can pretend I don't hear the TV.

At first, it was no big deal. But then I started making comments over the cheesy dialogue and improbable situations.

Slowly, but surely I could tell who was who and how they were related (apparently there is one family--The Newmans--and that's about it...they're all related). I used to refer to one of the characters as the little girl. As soon as I figured out her name was Cassie-she died. That's the problem with soaps... they're always killing off people as soon as you get to know them.

Now I find myself look at the clock anxiously and bark at Buddy to flip on the TV, if he forgets or worse--is actually engrossed in work.

This isn't my first foray into the land of soapdom. When I was a young tot, my sisters watched General Hospital--Luke and Laura era. Then I got addicted to Days of Our Lives. I actually took off from school in the 8th grade to watch Bo and Hope's wedding (my mother was quite progressive). And when i got older it was Knott's Landing (i had my mom tape it while i was stationed in germany and mail me the tapes).

My last addiction was Melrose Place. I LOVED that show. I was in a deep, dark depression when it went off the air. My boyfriend at the time was so sweet. He bid on Jake's saddle bags (for his motorcycle) on eBay and won them for me. The bags are displayed in my room and will hopefully be used when I get a motorcycle.

So..I gotta end this because my boyfriend (pictured above) is crying over Cassie's death. I need to console him now.

Cult of celebrity

Neil
Originally uploaded by veryapeaz.

While I was bowling with Jeff on Monday, my buddy Neil called me to let me know he got tickets to game two of the Western Conference Finals between the Suns and the Spurs. Now, I've been a Suns fan since 92-93, that was the year Barkley took them to the finals (I loved to watch Barkley play).

I've been a faithful fan ever since. When I was stationed in Germany, I used to get up at 3am, watch the playoffs and then go to PT (physical training). I chose ASU over U Conn. because of the Suns. After I graduated from ASU and moved back to Baltimore, I bought DirecTV, so I could watch the games. I couldn't afford anything practical (like a car) but I got to watch my Suns.

So, going to America West Arena to watch them play was a big deal.

Neil is not just my friend, he's the former mayor of Tempe--home of ASU. This means that everyone knows him. If they don't know him, they walk up and say hi.

This always strikes me as strange.

For example, last Saturday we went to the movies with Jeff and Parley. It turns out that Parley dated Neil's brother. An online chat friend, Andrew, also came--the first thing Andrew said after being introduced to Neil was, "I love your house. I saw it in the Republic."

That's really an odd statement. And it's a weird situation. People you don't know have seen your stuff. They know that your coffee pot is a Braun (that's a guess) and that you have a urinal in your bathroom (he does).

It's bad enough in the general public, but it's 100 times worse when attending a gay event. Neil and I went to the Rainbows Festival last year. It's like a little gay pride festival. We were stopped at least every 50 feet by people who knew him or didn't but wanted to shake his hand anyway. And everybody wants their picture taken with him. I always feel like the guy who has to walk around with Mickey Mouse at Disneyland.

I'm sure this makes it difficult to date people. Are people attracted to you because of this semi-celebrityhood? Are they repelled by it? Dating is hard enough without dealing with that kind of shit.

OK. I'm going to end this because there's no real focus. But I wanted to get my observations down on (virtual) paper.

Thanks Neil for taking me to my first playoff basketball game!!!!

The Cat in the Cradle

My first hair cut


So... I was digging through some pictures and found this. My grandfather earned his living as a barber and gave me my first hair cut. My grandmother wrote on the back of the picture that this was the third week of June 1972. So I was a whopping 14 months old. I don't look very happy.

I remember when I was older (maybe 4 or 5) and got my hair cut at the barber shop that it was a scary experience. I wanted to sit on my dad's lap but they made me sit in a booster seat.

This picture reminds me of the song, The Cat in the Cradle. I had to download it from KaZaa. It's one of my favorite songs and always makes me think of my dad. He's a good man. Click here to listen to it.

Dead puppies, dead puppies, dead puppies

Dead puppies, dead puppies, dead puppies
Originally uploaded by veryapeaz.

I went and got my hair cut at lunch today. In March, I always get my hair cut funky with blonde highlights. This makes me feel young and prepares me for my birthday (April 9).

I wear it that way for a bit but usually get it all shaved off by summer. It's just too damned hot to have hair!

So, I went to this little barber shop at Central and Camelback and had this total hottie cut my hair.

He and his co-workers are Azerbaijani. They spoke a form of bastardized Russian that was difficult to comprehend. I could only understand 20% of the words.

I think they are all with the Russian mob though. At one point, I was able to understand that money had been transacted at someone's house and somebody else was not happy.

Plus, I couldn't concentrate on what they were saying. I was too busy concentrating on the guy shaving my head.

His name is Albert (Americanized name) and judging from the photos at his station, he likes to dress up in nice fashionable shirts, drink at bars and put his arm around his buddies (all equally cute).

After cutting my hair, he put a hot towel over my head and gave me a massage with a hand massager. Unfortunately, IT started to move and grow. So.... I kept having to think, "Dead puppies, dead puppies, dead puppies."

I think I'll go back and get my hair cut tomorrow. I'm sure it's grown some since lunch time.

Zoom Zoom Zoom

Scion Xa
Originally uploaded by veryapeaz.

Last week, I took my car in to get the oil changed, to fix a pesky power steering fluid leak and to fix my windshield wiper fluid motor (it's burned out). I took it to the auto shop that advertises in Echo. I figure that their advertising helps pay my salary. So I'm really just giving the money back to myself.

The friendly mechanic called me back after about 2 hours. Apparently, the pesky power steering leak is quite severe and it would cost about 2K to fix.

So..... knowing that my little Prizm has about 150K miles on it and I would need new brakes soon and other stuff, I figured it's time to buy a new car.

For the past five days, I have done nothing but research, research, research. I've test driven a Scion Xb, Mazda 3, (both 4 and 5-door--although I don't understand how a hatchback is a door... do they really expect people to open it up and climb into the back of the car that way?), Toyota Corolla and Hyundai Elantra.

I want to test drive the Scion Xa but the two dealers I went to only had automatics.

I can't wait until this ordeal is over. It's taken over my life. All I do is read different reviews, crunch a bunch of numbers, memorize the price differences of different option packages and try to get some sleep in the process.

All of the sales people are afraid of me when I walk in. I tell them exactly what I want to look at and then I go into my spiel, "I'm not looking to buy today but at the end of the month--you'll have more incentive to sell me the car I want at or below factory invoice. Don't ask me about trade ins or financing--we'll discuss the price first and then we'll go from there. Also, don't try to offer options that I don't ask for."

After I do that... the sales people act a lot less slimey and more like real people.

Currently, I really like the Scion Xa... it's weird and funky... but it's got one of those no-haggle prices like a Saturn. I hate that. I love the Mazda3 but I can't afford the one that I want. So I may end up going used.

I was really disappointed with the Hyundai Elantra. I read so many glowing reviews that I knew it was the car for me. Unfortunately, none of those glowing reviews were done by people who actually DROVE the car. There is absolutely no pickup. How can I merge onto the highway if it takes me 30 seconds to go from 0-60? Also, the interior wasn't as nice as it was made out to be. How sad. :-(

I still want to check out the Ford Focus, but I think I'll end up with a Scion.

You know you're old when...

Hailey and Me - New Year's 2005
Originally uploaded by veryapeaz.

In my last post, I noted that I felt old because I could say that I had an old army buddy.

But this picture tops even that. It's a picture of me and my GREATniece. That's correct! My niece has a niece. It's frightening!

But little Hailey is so freaking adorable. You can't tell in this picture but at the time she looked like Sponge Bob Square Pants because she had two front teeth like him.

I love babies. I want one. Why won't Angelina Jolie return my phone calls asking her to have my baby?

This post is nonsensical but I've taken my 4th hit of cough syrup with codeine and I'm still coughing! But at least I'm a little woozy.

Plus, I needed an excuse to show the world my cute little greatniece.

This shit is bananas B-A-N-A-N-A-S

bananas
Originally uploaded by veryapeaz.

I was in San Antonio, deathly ill for the past 7 days visiting an old army buddy (you know you're old when you have old army buddies).

San Antonio apparently only has 5 radio stations. ALL of them are owned by Clear Channel. This means I got to hear Gwen Stefani no less than 4 times a day. For the most part, they played Hollaback Girl. I had to look up Hollaback Girl at urbandictionary.com.

So now, I've got this stupid chant in my head--"Let me hear you say this shit is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S (This shit is bananas) (B-A-N-A-N-A-S) A few times I'€™ve been around that track. So it'€™s not just gonna to happen like that. Because I ain'€™t no HOLLABACK GIRL. I ain'€™t no HOLLABACK GIRL."

So.... I flew in this morning at 6am, went home and showered and drove to work. I cranked up some Velvet Revolver to purge myself of Ms. Rossdale's cheering.

It hasn't worked. Right now as I write this, I'm listening to Bush--maybe her husband will help me rid my mind of her. If not, maybe my cough syrup with codeine will make it go away.

M*U*S*T S*T*O*P T*H*E C*H*A*N*T*I*N*G

Don't Mess With Texas

Big Stick
Originally uploaded by veryapeaz.

Short post as I'm in San "there's no basement at the Alamo" Antonio.

Went to Six Flags yesterday. Guess who went with me? Every single Christian high school, school band and choir in the state of Texas. The kids are all very polite but they wear these horribly creepy t-shirts. Some of the shirts are close-ups of Jesus' face, distorted in pain or expressing sorrow at how miserable we are as human beings.

I just pushed the kids out my way as I raced to get in line for Superman: The Rollercoaster.

All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go

Peter paul mary
Originally uploaded by veryapeaz.

I'm flying to San Antonio this afternoon with my friend George. We are going to visit our friend Clay who just got back from Iraq last week. We all served in the army together 100 years ago.

So, I still feel like shit, my body aches, my throat is on fire and I have a shitload of work to do. I'll end up writing while on vacation but that's ok.

Clay said that we'll kill whatever I've got with alcohol. He's very smart, that Clay is.

We're going to need a special locker for that hat

yuk_157x157
Originally uploaded by veryapeaz.

Yesterday driving home I was so tired I think I nodded off at a red light. I turned on basketball and fell asleep on the couch for 1 1/2 hours. I literally crawled off the couch and into the kitchen and laid on the floor--trying to wake up.

I felt like crap. I took some alka seltzer night time cold stuff. I woke up at 2:45 feeling hot and cold... and for the next 4 hours went in and out of consciousness.

I called in to the office at 6:30 and left a message. I then slept for another couple of hours.

My head still feels like crap, my body aches and I can barely breathe.

The only good part was I got to watch 9 to 5 last night on Multiplex--commercial free!