Itza Meee Mario!

I've had to burn off some vacation days before I lose them at the end of the month. I've been using them (including today) to have Mario Parties. What's a Mario Party, pray tell? A Mario Party is when a bunch of kids OR a bunch of adult geeks get together to play Mario Party on GameCube.

Mario Party is like a board game. You roll virtual dice and move your space around the board. The object is to gather as many stars as possible. Depending on the board, you can either buy these stars or steal them from the other players.

After all players complete one turn, everyone plays a "minigame." These games can be free for alls, 1 vs 3 or 2 vs 2. This is where things get competitive. And Ryan (pictured, showing off his new tat) and I have almost come to blows a few times. In fact, the last game tonight I thought he was going to cry. Which made me laugh because he had been winning all day. It served him right.

The minigames have awesome names like, Snow Ride (I always belt out Snow Ride, take it easy), Take Me Ohm (you jump over laser beams), Big Dripper (collect honey that drips from the ceiling), and Mathemortician (you say a number into the microphone and fire a flame at that square). In the games you might battle Cheep Cheeps, Lakitus and Pink Boos. It's all cute but maddeningly difficult.

Currently we're playing Mario Party 7. Let me just say I'm not a big fan. Mario Party 4-6 was based on skill. The winner of the game was the person who won the most stars, won the most minigames, won the most coins and landed on the most "what's happening" spaces. Mario Party 7 awards stars for random things (like buying orbs) and other things. And it's all random. So you could have won the most stars, won the most games and have the most coins and still lose the game. This has put me at an unfair advantage. Ryan won 2 of the 3 games we played (I finally won the last game).

I consistently won at Mario Party 4, 5, and 6 because of my mad gaming skills. This new one is all luck. Regardless, I still had fun. Here are some pictures of today's Mario Party. We'll be having another one next Thursday.

JP kept trying to mess up Ryan during the microphone games

Despite it being their first Mario Party, JP and Jeffy were quite relaxed

Ryan tried to screw me up and ended up losing!

Life is Grand

I had a great Christmas weekend.

Christmas Eve, I went over to Gary's and met up with him, Greg and a couple whose names I forgot. We then went out to Apollo's for karaoke and drank a boatload of Jaeger bombers. I stopped at four. They drank 10 or more. Gross. Kelly showed up, which was nice.

The best part was at 11:50 they distributed candles, dimmed the lights and then played Christmas songs on the karaoke machine. So we all sang Christmas carols for about 15 minutes.

Sunday I got up and exchanged gifts with Kevin. He got me a digital camera! I was so psyched. I've been wanting one forever. My mom got me some nice shirts and my sister Sue sent me a new rugby kit. So I now have two practice jerseys!!! I don't have to use one for three practices (believe me, it got REALLY smelly by Saturday).

Later in the evening, Jeffy stopped by on his way back from Tucson. He got me two of the coolest gifts: A cow bell (pictured above) with the words, "There will always be women in rubber flirting with me," and a children's book called "All About Scabs." I died laughing at both. The cowbell (if you don't know) is a reference to the fact that I'm Maureen from Rent. I'm going to get some rope and wear it as a necklace for our next drinkup. The scab book is an obvious reference to my knees after rugby matches.

Then Jeffy and I headed out to Roscoes and met my friend JP (down from Flag) and some of the ruggers. My friend Bryan was in town from LA and brought some of his friends. It was a really nice night. Here are some pix (from my new camera!!!) from my weekend.

So here are some pix from Christmas night at Roscoes:

JP looking toasted and Jeffy looking happy

Bryan and me

Gary after his fourth Jaeger bomber

HAPPY TUNESDAY MOTHERFUCKERS

Today's tune comes from the godfather of grunge--Neil Young. Although he does
write some flat out rockers, I love his slow folk songs. Harvest Moon is one
of my faves, so take a listen--you might like it too. It's just a beautiful
love song. My favorite lines are:

When we were strangers
I watched you from afar
When we were lovers
I loved you with all my heart.

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Merry Christmas!

 

Boreback Mountain

I'm going to draw the ire of all film fans and homosexuals alike but I found Brokeback Mountain to be extremely boring. I thought it was moving at the end with the "I wish I could quit you" and the whole shirt thing, but damn it was long. And no dialogue. It was pretty and made me want to go camping in Wyoming (with Jake G. or Heath L.) but it was too slow for me.

It was really embarrassing because all these hetero couples were there--young and old. And they all clapped at the end. I just couldn't wait to get out. If I hadn't gone to see it with a friend (Texas Mike), I probably would have walked out.

Fortunately, when I got home Spike TV is playing Bond movies. So, I can get my fill of action-packed movies. Actually, I'm flipping between You Only Live Twice, Jason X and The Village of the Damned. I can't help it. I like crappy movies.

Just thought I'd share. And if any of you get pissed, just remember that Phoenista HATES Harry Potter. 

Tew Hearts SJ

I went outside to get my newspaper this morning and discovered a new friend (Teddy Tew) sitting on my doorstep. He's absolutely adorable and he's going to sleep with me every night (and with the kitties).

Today was outrageously (think Lionel Richie)wrong and long. Echo is giving two readers (boy and girl) a makeover. I had to be at the stylist's house at noon. I took all three to the mall, shlepped around snapping pictures of them trying on clothes. Then off to get their hair done and then up to North Scottsdale for their photo shoot.

It sounds like fun but I hate shopping. Plus, this story isn't for the issue that closes this Thursday. It's for the issue after that. I haven't done any writing for THIS issue. Mainly because I've been doing the ground work for this issue and coordinating the makeover stuff (they also got new glasses and facials and stuff). So it's been a lot of work and I'm stressed cuz I need to write for THIS issue.

However, the makeover stuff has been worth it. The two contestants looked so freaking good in the photographer's studio. I was so happy, because THEY were so happy and gracious. And they looked fantastic. Although I was so flipping tired, it was really rewarding.

I finally got back to the office at 6. By the time I returned e-mails (work-related) and did other crap it was 7:30. I was too tired to write, so I came home.

RANDOM MESSAGE -- If you're expecting a Christmas card for me, I won't get around to writing them until Christmas Eve, so consider them "holiday cards."

I'm watching Home Alone 2 (I'm down here you big horse's ass!). It's not as good as the first, but I love Tim Curry in it.

Happy TUNESDAY MOTHERFUCKERS!!!

My final Christmas carol is dedicated to someone special. And YOU know who you are. ;-)

It's called Gabriel's Message and it's by Sting.

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She's BAAAACK

This is how I feel after last night. Let me just say that men are assholes. I'm not going to name names but they know who they are.

In other news... I had to hold Gary up last night at Charlie's because he was slipping to the floor (which is pretty gross late on a Saturday night). He managed to give me a friggin hickey. I just thought he was drooling beer.

I got two hours of sleep and I need to write a column. Coffee beeped. It's ready. Thank God. 

Let It Snow

It's really difficult to feel Christmasy in Phoenix. I don't know if it's because I sweat every time I run errands. Or maybe it's the cactus. I don't know. But I can't believe that it's a few days away. I guess I better write some Christmas cards and go Christmas shopping.

This weekend was fun. Steven took me to the Suns game. And we won. WEEHOO! We had kickass seats and it was a nail biter. I'm so glad we won, otherwise I'd be all bitter and shit. After the game we went Hamsterdam and ran into Ed and Travis.

But I think the best part of the weekend had to have been SJ, Jeffy, Kevin and my trip to see Glendale Glitters. The city of Glendale has a nice little historic downtown area that gets dolled up for the holidays. Lots of lights and vendors selling wares -- like temporary tattoos and pencils carved in the shape of dragons.

We watched some kids dance--I won't steal Jeff's line. It was too damned funny and probably relevant only to those of us sitting on the grass at the time. We also watched some poor kid throw up -- it must have been too many chocolate covered strawberries.

I sang the one verse to My Hump that I know. It wouldn't leave my head. Fortunately, it's now safely planted in Jeffy's head and I don't have to worry about it anymore.

We went to the 5 and Diner after. It managed to take a whopping 3 hours to sit, eat and pay our bill. SJ decided he would entertain us by inventing games that made no sense. This was not good because, like Jeffy, I'm suffering from bouts of no sleep. I had gotten maybe 3 hours of sleep the night before and was ready to crash. Having to figure out SJ's games was maddening. I felt like Edgar Allen Poe, flush with fever and madness and wishing I had a bottle of bourbon to make the voices go away. We had hoped to have a sighting of a famous fellow Phoenician blogger, but no luck.

In other news I'm ready to crash. My "day off" today consisted of me going to IKEA twice to exchange two busted parts of two separate bookshelves. I also went to Petco, Target (two allergy prescriptions for two different people at two different Targets), Best Buy, the UPS store and some other places that I don't remember.

Anyway.... HAPPY TUNESDAY MOTHERFUCKERS!

To get you in the Christmas spirit, I've got Pearl Jam covering a Stevie Wonder song (though it sounds more Jackson 5ish)-- Someday at Christmas.
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Say Hello to My Leetle Friend

epsom

Lots to report about. But I'm really beat (and beat up) so this'll be a quickie (just like Sloppy Joey).

We played San Diego on Saturday. We lost 21-7 (I think that was the score). There was a scary moment when little Shawn was knocked unconscious. He was taken away by the paramedics but he was checked out at the hospital and everything's okay.

I felt like we could have won that game. I'm annoyed that we lost but we did play pretty hard. The pitch was terribly rough. It was like playing on gravel covered by some straw. My right knee today is twice the size as my left one. It's throbbing. I'm going to ice it some more before bed and ice it all day tomorrow. If it's not better I'll get it checked out.

I did manage to score my first try ever! It was very exciting. I didn't realize it but it was our first try ever as a team. So that is just a huge honor. I don't remember too well how it happened. Rickie through a great pass to me and I think I may have run past a guy or two and then it was all open field. I kind of fell down at the try line and got choked up for a second. Then I saw my team rushing towards me. I can't even explain what that feeling is like. It was truly special.

At the drinkup, Scottish Dave got forward of the match and I was honored with back of the match. I like that concept (a forward and back honored) better than just man of the match. Once again, the other men of the match drank their beers before me and I had to pour the rest of mine over my head. Coach Phill said he's just going to get me a shower cap if I'm ever "back of the match again," because I can't drink fast.

However, I made up for it by drinking all day and night -- from 3:30pm til Charlie's closed at 2am, to be precise. Yes, I got ugly drunk again. It's that damned cup they put around my neck. When I say ugly drunk, I don't mean I get violent or grumpy. I'm usually all smiles (and kisses), but I don't walk too well. In fact, I stumbled across the entire back patio of Charlie's and managed to fall on some guy. Everyone laughed because I tried to play it off -- like I meant to do that.

I've learned some valuable lessons that I'll share later on this week.

HAPPY TUNESDAY MOTHERFUCKERS!

I'm going to do Christmas tunes this month. This song is really funny if you're from Baltimore. It's mildly funny if you're not. The song is called Essex Wonderland. Essex is a part of Baltimore known for it's blue collar workers, 80s hairstyles and an accent that rivals Jersey. In fact, Essex is quite similar to Jersey.

My favorite lines are:
Joey's home from the service
And his girlfriend is getting nervous
While he was sea
She contracted VD
They're walking in an Essex wonderland

That shit's priceless. :-P

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