Hello World!

Closet

So today is National Coming Out Day. I wish it were mandatory for everyone who is gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender to just tell all of their friends and family. Their life would be so much more fulfilling.

When I was a wee lad (23), I met a boy. I had a huge crush on him and he liked me. So after going out on a few dates, I figured what the dealio was. I knew I was gay and I knew that it wasn't going to change. This was during finals of my first semester at ASU.

I figured I would tell my family when I got home for Christmas. My sister Sue picked me up from the airport with her son Thomas. He was about 6 at the time, so I figured it wasn't a good time to tell her. But I had to say something because I was going to bust and I wanted her to know first because she and I have always had a good connection.

She dropped me off at my mom's apartment. I told her that I forgot cigarettes and would she drive me to the 7/11. So, I got her to take me to the store. We hadn't even pulled out of the parking lot before I told her I was dating a guy and then burst into tears. I never cry... well I do... every couple of years but that's it (I'm a freak that way). Anyway, she was like, "What's the big deal?"

So, I then went to the rest of my sisters and told them during that weeklong vacation. The funniest time was when my sisters Cathy, Michele and I were playing cards. They were talking about boyfriends and their recent run of good luck.

Michele said, "Cathy just found a new boyfriend. I've got one. Now we just need one for you Teddy," and she laughed hysterically.
I laughed and said, "I already got one." Which made Cathy and Michele laugh even harder. Then I said, "No, I'm serious. I just got one too."
Michele asked, "Are you serious?" and lit up a cigarette.
I said, "Michele, I am serious and you've already got a lit cigarette in your hand."

I'm not exactly sure how it was decided but the girls said they would tell mom and dad after I went back to Phoenix. I'm not sure if we figured it would be easier for them or easier for me--regardless I lucked out not having to tell them. My mom was totally cool with it. But my dad took it really badly. He didn't sleep for over a week. Then he and I wrote letters back and forth for about a year--it was the only way we could communicate. Finally after a year, he was okay with everything.

But the coolest part was my brothers-in-law reactions. Many of them called me up on the phone and asked a bunch of questions. They were completely supportive and very sweet about it.

Once I was out--that was it. It was never an issue with me or other people really. And I've never felt discriminated against or had "an uncomfortable moment." I did have a bizarre moment, when I called up some high school friends to give them the low down. My friend Laura started bawling because she thought we would always get married.
I said, "Laura. You're married now and have two kids!"
She just cried some more and said, "Yeah, but I always thought you and I would end up together!"

So that's my little story.

I find people who aren't out of the closet kind of sad. A psychologist told me that a person who isn't out, is hiding the best part of themselves--the part that loves and cares.

It's also impossible to be in a relationship with closeted guys. What if you fall in love and a year or two later you want to move in together? When the other guy's parents visit, do you have to have a separate bedroom set up and pretend to be roommates? What about holidays? Even if you're invited to his parent's house for holidays, you can't show any affection--hugs or kisses.

That's demeaning and degrades the relationship. It shows a lack of respect for the relationship and the other person in the relationship. Plus, if the dude is lying about who he's dating or in love with to his family and friends--what is he lying about to me?

Ugh... So, people. Just be yourself. It's the only way to live life. I've been true to myself and found myself BLESSED with amazing people in my life. :-)