Well, who says relationships have to last forever?

Before Sunrise


What a funny weekend. Friday night I had to work at Skyview. I didn't get home until around 11:30. I got ready for bed but I had problems falling asleep. I didn't fall asleep until around 1 or 1:30. This really sucked because I had to get up at 7:15 for rugby.

Went to rugby at 8:15 for a special two-part drill. The first 45 minutes about 8 of us attended a kicking practice. Then at 9 everyone else showed up and we did our normal practice. Plus we played a 60-minute scrimmage.

The pitch (field) was wet and muddy and it was terribly hot and humid. But once play starts, you kind of forget about it all. I scored my first try (think touchdown)! It was very exciting, especially since there were only 5 tries (each side) during our scrimmage--so it was pretty cool. I also got to play hooker.

Many of you will say that I was already a good hooker but this is actually a position. It's the person in the middle of the big huddle (called a scrum). The goal of the hooker is to get the ball back to his teammates after the ball is tossed in. I turned out to be a decent hooker for my first time doing it.

Sometime during practice I hurt my hand. This isn't surprising because I haven't bought cleats yet. So, I was slipping and falling a lot. Right now, my hand is still in significant pain and it's swollen. I'm taking Aleve and have my wrist/arm in a little cast. I can move my fingers a little without too much pain but I can't bend my wrist or turn my hand. Today driving I had to shift with my left hand!

Saturday evening, Mr. X came over to the house. We went to Claim Jumper and ate. Then we got him some ice cream on the way home (I don't eat much ice cream because I'm lactose intolerant). Then I made him watch Before Sunrise, because he'd never seen it before and it's a great date movie.

It was funny because it turned out we were a lot like the main characters. He is very much like Ethan Hawke--very pessimistic and I'm a bit like Julie Delpy--I trust everyone. So we were making jokes all night. All in all, we had a great time.

One of my favorite lines (besides the title of this post) is: Isn't everything we do in life a way to be loved a little more?

It sounds trite but in the context of the movie it works.

Today I worked at Skyview, talked to Mr. X on the phone a few times and watched Whale Rider on PBS. It was a good movie and much more interesting than I thought it was going to be.

So, Mr. X called at the end of Whale Rider to confirm our plans for Wednesday. We were going to watch the sequel to Before Sunrise, called Before Sunset. Then he informs me that he thinks we should just be friends.

He said that he really likes the intimacy of our relationship and likes smooching but he's not sure if it'll get more physical than that. He tried to explain but it wasn't holding much water. He said that he thinks we should have had sex when we first started going out. Then he said he thinks it stems back to "his meltdown" (his words) from a couple of weeks back.

Regardless, I'm glad we hadn't had sex yet. Don't get me wrong. I love me some sex. But I was trying to do something different here. I wanted to get to know the person real well before having sex. And I think that will work with the right person. Obviously, he isn't the right one.

So, he said that this was a big step for him because he normally just lets things fizzle out. He also said, normally he would just be selfish and not say anything -- because he wouldn't want to give up a good thing (the talking, the smooching and stuff like that). So, I guess I should somehow feel honored that he's matured a little and can talk about relationships like an adult.

We had a good talk and we'll end up being friends. But then he intimated that he wanted to still watch the movie on Wednesday AND smooch and stuff. I was like, "Hell no!" You can't have it both ways. So, he said that was fine. I also said we need a week or two apart before we can hang out as friends. It would feel very forced and awkward for me to see him in three days and be like, "Hey bro, what's up?"

I knew this was going to happen eventually. He usually only dates guys for no longer than 6 weeks and this was week 7 or 8. Plus, he drinks way too much. It's not that he drinks often, but when he does drink he binge drinks. I've never been there with him when he does drink. But he would tell me how much he drank and how fucked up he'd get when he would go out on "friends nights" . For me that's okay, once in awhile (I do it 2 or 3 times a year) but not every weekend. Plus, we're vastly different people. He's very strait-laced and I'm not. He's very cynical and I'm not. Blah blah blah.

So, it's not like this is a big shock. But it's sad just the same. Cuz I think he does have a lot of wonderful traits and characteristics.

So, here's another great quote from Before Sunrise to close this post:
You know what's the worst thing about somebody breaking up with you? Is when you remember how little you thought about the people you broke up with and you realize that is how little they're thinking of you. You know, you'd like to think you're both in all this pain but they're just like 'Hey, I'm glad you're gone.'