This hurts me deeply

Paul Anka
Originally uploaded by veryapeaz.

Last week on NPR, Paul Anka was shilling is latest album. It's a collection of rock songs pansied up, swingified and murdered beyond comprehension. I thought it was a joke until I went to Amazon and saw that it's for real.

First, the album is called Rock Swings. But half the songs aren't rock. Many are pure syrupy pop. Spandau Ballet? I've never considered True to be a real rocking song, even when Spandau Ballet sang it at Live Aid--it's 80s pop.

He also does a cover of Lionel Richie's Hello. There's nothing more (outrageous?) vomitous than a Lionel Richie song, except when it's sung by Paul Anka.

I kind of get his version of Oasis' Wonderwall and REM's Everybody Hurts. Those work in this setting.

But some of the songs he chooses are just plain wrong. If he is truly a Nirvana fan, why did he pick Smells Like Teen Spirit? I'm thinking Heart Shaped Box or All Apologies.

And his version of Jump? Diamond Dave would leap out of his spandex if he heard this.

There's no real point to this post. I'm just a little angry. Thank God he didn't do Alice in Chains. I couldn't bear the thought of him singing Angry Chair with a bounce to it.