I can see clearly now the drops wore off

Bug eyed

For the past couple of weeks my right eye has been acting funny. I've gotten a little pimple on the eyelid and then it goes away. It happened again last week. The little pimple on the eyelid popped Saturday while I was in Jerome. When I woke up Sunday, I noticed the my right eye was a little swollen. By Sunday night, the lower part of my eyelid was so huge it looked like a fucking softball. Okay, maybe not a softball but more likely a golfball. Okay, maybe not a golfball but definitely a milkball. Milkballs are pretty damned big.

On top of that, I had a huge zit the size of Mt. Vesuvius over my right eye. When you have a zit that big, nobody notices anything else. You could be wearing nothing more than sandals and a thong and people will fixate on the zit. So all day Monday whenever people talked to me their eyes drifted between the erupting volcano and the milkball dangling from my eye.

Tim said that it could be a virus. He said that he got the herpes virus in his eye once. I told him I hadn't had sex in months and I certainly never let anyone spooge in my eye, so it couldn't be that.

I called the eye doctor but they couldn't see me until Tuesday morning. So at bowling I tried to conceal everything by wearing glasses and a hat that read, "Jerome Women's Prison." It worked, because Mr. X said he couldn't tell my eye was funky. And the hat covered the zit too!

This morning I went to the eye doctor. Apparently, I have overacting oil glands. And since after rugby we either go to the bar or we go to breakfast I'm sweaty for an hour or two before I get to shower.

Now I have to put hot compresses over my eyes three times a day FOREVER. And I have to carry baby wipes in my car.

So. I leave the eye doctor's and realize that driving to work is going to be a struggle. My pupils were dilated, it's 116 degrees outside (which means the sun shines brighter than say Boston which might have a cloud to diffuse the light), and my eyes are like slits trying to block out all light. Fortunately, it was only 2 miles to work but that was a rough drive. I almost pulled over because it hurt so bad but I got through it.

Oh. Monday night I received the strangest proposal. It was a marriage proposal through a third party. I asked the third party (Jeff) if the proposer knew what a freak I was. Jeff droll as ever said, "I told him you were very busy." I'm thinking that marrying someone I've never met might be successful. After all, my conventional relationships haven't really lasted more than 7 years. Maybe this one will last forever. ;-)