Bleed the freak

Leg shaving
Originally uploaded by veryapeaz.

I'm one of those people who hate the summers in Phoenix. I don't understand it when people say, "Oh, the heat here doesn't really bother me." It doesn't bother you? It's 115 fucking degrees!

I come from Baltimore, MD. Where during the summer it's typically in the 90s with 80-90 percent humidity. My last three summers in high school were spent working my ass off as a landscaper. 14 hour days in the sun. That I could tolerate.

But here, I just walk outside and sometimes I will instantly get a headache. I'm also a lot grumpier (yes, more so than normal).

So, during the summer, I trim my hair. ALL OF IT. Normally, I keep the hair on my head shaved close (no guard on the sides). I also trim my arm, chest and leg hair.

I have a beard trimmer for my half goatee that I've been sporting. I was using that for my legs but it was TAKING FOREVER. So I whipped out my grandfather's clippers.

I think I blogged about this before but my grandfather was a barber and gave me my first haircut. I'm sure he's rolling in his grave knowing his gay grandson is using his clippers to trim up the leg hair.

So... I couldn't find the guard but it had an adjustable head that moved the little teeth further away from the blade. I thought I had it fully extended, so I powered it up and started right below my knee.

Before I knew it, I had cut a swath of hair from my knee to my ankle. It was completely GONE. It wasn't just trimmed up... there wasn't a millimeter of hair left. It was shorter than if I had used a shaving cream and a razor blade.

So, I had to do my entire leg like that. Completely shorn.

The good news is, it worked. It completely cooled off my body. I froze my ass off in bed that night. I had to get up in the middle of the night to grab an extra blanket.

The bad news is, I have to wear jeans to work all week. I look utterly ridiculous with silky smooth legs.

BTW Bleed the Freak is a kickass Alice in Chains song.