In the Evening

Batman

Sometimes I feel like a real tard. Tonight Buddy, Richard, Jeff, Jorge (pronounced George--why?, I'm not sure but someone please explain this to me), Doug and I saw the new Batman. First, I completely forgot that Katie "I LOVE Scientology" Holmes was in it until I saw her name at the end of the film. Yes, after all this bullshit about Tomatie (or is that Kom?) I completely forgot that she was in the damned picture. She's really not that pretty. If I were Tom Cruise, I would not be jumping up and down on Oprah's furniture about it. In fact, I wouldn't even let her walk down the red carpet with me. I'd be like, "Bitch, sneak in the back with the help. I'll meet you inside."

I also didn't realize Gary Oldman was in it. In fact, I didn't know who Gary Oldman really was. I knew I saw him in Dracula but that was it. So I went onto IMDB this evening and realized that he was Sirius Black in the last Harry Potter movie. I also saw him in Hannibal, Murder in the First, JFK and The Firm. He's either very good or so boring I don't even notice him.

Christian Bale was good as Batman. I still don't think he's all that and a bag of chips in the looks department (although he's got an AMAZING body) but he's a good actor. The story was pretty solid and the action was over-the-top, but kind of subdued in comparison to Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Some of the jokes fell flat and in my opinion were totally unnecessary.

I still think Michael Keaton was the best Batman. But we'll let the scholars and geeks debate that one.

Best line of the night came not from the movie but Jeff. After Katie "Fugly" Holmes gives Batman his birthday gift, Jeff turns to me and says, "I can't believe she drives a Taurus."