Dwarf Planet?

I think these are the signs of Armageddon. First, politics are so corrupt that even the Democrats are fixing election results. Second, Republicans didn't learn that fabricating intelligence data to invade Iraq leads to civil unrest. Third, Jon Benet Ramsey's killer has finally confessed and it wasn't the Ramseys. But now the killer may not be the killer.

And finally... Pluto is no longer a planet.

This is outrageous. Especially since only a handful of astronomers voted on the decision (about 300). They're calling it a dwarf planet -- one of the three dwarves (Ceres and Xena are the others). I think the astronomers are getting their fairy tales mixed up.

OK. I'm being dramatic. But it's kind of sad to think the little space object on the fringes of our solar system no longer gets to be part of our little family. I'm kind of excited about the space mission to Pluto. A spacecraft should reach it in 2015. I've always been fascinated with space. planets, stars and our solar system. Pluto has been so intriguing to me, since so little is known. I wonder what we'll find out about it.

The Good, the Bad and the So Awful It's Good

Friday night was a bowl-a-thon for the 1 Voice Community Center. The rugby team entered and had a great time. The lanes were filled with SCREAMING queens -- some in sequinned outfits. It was so flipping funny. We all had a great time and the event raised over $16,000!

Saturday night Joe and I rented Scary Movie 4 and V for Vendetta.

Scary Movie 4 was really bad. I love the Scary Movie series but 4 was pretty lame. There were a few funny moments but nothing like the previous movies.

I loved the 8 Mile scene in Scary Movie 3 when the guy raps, "I'm a white boy, but my neck is red / I put Miracle Whip on my Wonder Bread." CLASSIC!




I love the characters Cyndy and Brenda in the previous movies.
Cindy Campbell:
Brenda! The monster is gonna kill us!


Brenda Meeks:
IT WOULD HAVE JUST BEEN YOU IF YOU HAD JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!


Sadly, Scary Movie 4 was a dud.

But then we watched V for Vendetta. What a GREAT movie! I wanted to see it when it was in the theaters and I never got a chance. It was nothing like I anticipated. Basically, the story took place in the near future. The USA was practically non-existant and England was ruled by a totalitarian chancellor. He used fear as a way to rule. He would constantly frighten the citizens in order to stay in power. And he uses the media to promote his message--something they willingly do.

So this one guy decided that chaos was in order to restore order and freedom. He murders evil high-powered citizens -- a Limbaugh/O'Reilly type of newscaster, a doctor, heads of state. And he blows up government buildings.

He does this because he was sent to a prison nobody knows about (Gitmo anyone?). There he encountered dissidents and homosexuals. And they all ended up dead. He managed to escape so he enacts revenge.

There are some memorable lines. One of my favorite is:
V:
People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people.


After he blows up one government building, he hijacks the television system and gives a great speech. It's excerpted here:
V:
Good evening, London. Allow me first to apologize for this interruption. I do, like many of you, appreciate the comforts of every day routine- the security, the familiar, the tranquility, repetition. I enjoy them as much as any bloke....

There are of course those who do not want us to speak. I suspect even now, orders are being shouted into telephones, and men with guns will soon be on their way.

Why? Because while the truncheon may be used in lieu of conversation, words will always retain their power. Words offer the means to meaning, and for those who will listen, the annunciation of truth. And the truth is, there is something terribly wrong with this country, isn't there?

Cruelty and injustice, intolerance, and depression. And where once you had the freedom to object, think, and speak as you saw fit, you now have censors and systems of surveillence coercing your conformity and soliciting your submission.

How did this happen? Who's to blame?

Well certainly there are those more responsible than others, and they will be held accountable, but again truth be told, if you're looking for the guilty, you need only look into a mirror.

I know why you did it. I know you were afraid. Who wouldn't be? War, terror, disease. There were a myraid of problems which conspired to corrupt your reason and rob you of your common sense. Fear got the best of you, and in your panic you turned to the now high chancellor, Adam Sutler. He promised you order, he promised you peace, and all he demanded in return was your silent, obedient consent. Last night I sought to end that silence.

Anyway -- the movie hit close to home with me. In many ways. It's sad but I felt like it was a movie about modern America. Go rent it and watch it.

As for the "so awful, it's good" movie. While I was writing my freelance stuff, I had on Girls Just Want to Have Fun in the background. This gem from the 80s starred a very young Sarah Jessica Parker, Helen Hunt and an even younger Shannon Doherty. It's so bad that it's good. :-)

Comment vs. No Comment

I love typing a keyword into Yahoo's or Google's image search and seeing random stuff pop up. I typed in the words "no comment" and this was on the first page. I had to use it.

Anyway.... Joe forwarded me an audioblog. The lady was talking about blogger etiquette and whether or not people should reply when a comment is left on their blog. For example, Ian always replies to comments left on his blog. It's always fun to read the exchange.

I almost never reply to comments on my blog.

But the lady thought it was only polite to say thank you for stopping by, fuck you or whatever -- even if you comment to a group of people at once.

So, I'm going to start doing that.

Any comments?
:-P

Mr. Cranky Pants

I don't know what the deal is but lately everything is irritating the shit out of me. I've decided to make a short list of things that bother me.

The crisis in Lebanon
The actual conflict doesn't bother me -- it's been going on since the dawn of man, so I'm used to it. What drives me nuts is there's no consensus on how to spell Hezbollah. As long as I can remember, it's always been spelled H-E-Z-B-O-L-L-A-H. But recently I noticed some news organizations who spell it H-I-Z-B-U-L-L-A-H.

There should be some sort of unified spelling code for this organization. The Council on Foreign Relations goes with the former, but the latter and even Hizbu'llah are acceptable variants.

CNN has NO consistency. On Aug. 14 at 1:40 a.m. it posted a story spelling it Hezbollah. At 11:36 a.m. that same day it decided to go with Hizbollah. A day later it was back with the "e."
No wonder the Israeli army can't find root them all out. They keep changing the spelling of their name!

It reminds me of the sudden change in pronunciation of harassment. Pre-Tailhook scandal (early 90s?), it was always pronounced Ha-RASS-ment. As soon as the Tailhook story hit, it was pronounced HAIR-is-ment. I don't know why. I guess the network news was afraid to say ASS when describing a sexual harassment case.

Carry On Luggage
The non-liquid thing is just ridiculous. First, TSA says that any liquids except for baby formula are not allowed on-board. I guess they figure that terrorists will kill anyone including themselves, but not little babies.

Then Phoenix announces it's going to give away all unopened liquids (water bottles, shampoo, cologne, etc.) to the homeless in Phoenix. How do they know the homeless people won't get blown up? Is that their answer to the homeless problem? Give them all bombs so they explode and die.

And if they aren't afraid of the big mess it could create on the Phoenix's streets, then why don't they just let the damn passengers take their Frescas and Drakkar Noir onboard?

And why CAN I take on board pointed scissors, a wrench, screwdriver or any other tool under 7 inches, but I CAN'T take on board a Capri Sun? And why is lipstick ok, but lip gloss is not?

Jeanne Moos does a GREAT bit on this. Watch it here.

The Republican Spin and Mainstream Media
CNN, AP, Time, and your local newspapers are just lapdogs to the current administration. It's really disgusting. Anything that comes from the White House is presented as fact. They never bother to put it into context.

For example, when Ned Lamont beat Joe Lieberman the Vice President said everyone who voted for Lamont was voting for Al Qaeda. The Mainstream Media never bothered to counter Cheney at the time. Nor did they point out how sick and wrong that statement was. They just printed it.

Fortunately we have The Daily Show.

Props to Americablog for pointing out this hysterical quote, "Al Qaeda was in tatters on the verge of surrender until news of millionaire Ned Lamont's 52%-48% primary victory reached them and rallied their spirits."

So am I being overly sensitive or is anyone else irritated by all this crap?

Boringly Normal

Two weeks ago I had a physical. I'm disgustingly healthy. My bad cholesterol is low and my good cholesterol is normal. My blood pressure is good. My sugar level, kidney and liver functions and everything is perfect.

But my EKG showed something funky -- a premature heart beat. So, I had to see a cardiologist. Fortunately, my friend Jilane is a PA for Biltmore Cardiology -- a really nice and fancy schmancy practice.

This morning I went over there for various poking and prodding.

First, a woman SANDPAPERED parts of my chest. It really was a strip of sandpaper that she gleefully ripped across my body.

Then she hooked up some electrodes and had me walk on a treadmill. Every so often, the computer reading the info from the electrodes would spit out some graphs. After about 15 minutes of this (at this point I was sprinting up a mountainous incline), I asked when the damned test would end. The lady with the sandpaper said not until I couldn't go anymore or until I hit 100% of my maximum heart rate.

I didn't want to look like a wimp so I waited it out until I hit 100%.

After that I went to another room. There a different lady smeared jelly on my chest (that felt much better than sandpaper) and performed an ultrasound on my heart. It was really cool. Sometimes I would have to exhale and hold it because my lung kept getting in the way. Other times she would hit a button and the black and white image would explode in vibrant color.

Finally, I got to see Jilane. She said I was boringly healthy. Occasionally my heart will beat prematurely. But it does it infrequently and at random and it's nothing to be concerned about.

The only bad thing is I've gotten fat. I've gained 11 pounds since Bingham (which is good). But I haven't worked out (except tennis and bowling -- and bowling is mostly beer drinking), so it's all hung around my waist. I'm looking forward to burning it off soon and turning it into a little bit of muscle.

In other news... I have to comment on the new airport regulations. I think it's all a sham. If it was such a wicked plot, why didn't George Bush cut short his vacation (since he knew about it for days)? I find it highly suspicious that the activity was planned in England (Tony Blair = George Bush lapdop) and targeted America. I think Blair and Bush concocted this whole thing. And I find it sickening that Cheney used the terrorist's plot as a way to warn voters not to vote for Democrats. I'm not the only one who thinks this either -- read this.

My Immortal

National Public Radio has the John D. and Katherine T. Macarthur Foundation. I have the John Alecca and Phill Barber Foundation. Throughout the past year, they have donated time, money and various goods to the betterment of my life.

Fortunately for me, they are avid campers and have tents, propane stoves, outdoor kitchenware, lanterns and everything under the sun. What’s even nicer is they are incredibly generous and allowed me to borrow their gear so Joe and I could go camping at the Grand Canyon. I want to say, "THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!" for giving Joe and me the opportunity to go on this trip this past weekend.

We left Echo’s offices mid-afternoon on Friday and headed up north. The drive wasn’t as long as I thought it would be. It’s only about 3 ½ hours.

Joe wrote about the weekend. But there are some things that I thought should be highlighted.

Most people treat the Canyon with the reference it deserves. Friday night when we went to one of the points to watch the sun set, there were about 50 people sitting on the edge. Everyone was spread out, so it wasn’t like we were crowded, but there was a decent number of people. Anyway, it was amazing how quiet it was. When people spoke, they whispered to each other. I really liked that.

Saturday we hiked to the three mile rest stop on the Bright Angel Trail. It’s about a 4-6 hour hike round trip. I wanted to go further to Indian Garden – a 6 – 9 hour hike. But Joe made sad puppy dog noises. So we only went to the three mile marker.

Looking up from three miles down...

I’m glad he did. Because the hike back up the Canyon was hot and long and a bit strenuous at times.

Joe mentioned that a woman fell off her mule and broke her collarbone, creating gridlock on the trail. After the path was cleared and we started moving again, a squirrel jumped in front of Joe. This little squirrel couldn’t have been more than 8 inches long and probably weighed a total of four pounds. But Joe jumped like it was a rattlesnake about to attack. Of course, the people around us laughed. OK. I did too.

We rounded a corner and continued walking. That same squirrel cut down the hill and ran in front of Joe again! It was so funny. It was trying to scare him again.

Throughout the entire day, people kept talking about the woman on the mule. And EVERYONE had a theory about why it happened. It was really funny. Because here we are, everyone speaking different languages, a bunch of people from all over the world, gossiping over a woman with a broken collarbone.

Pretty view...


Another pretty view...

Saturday when we came back from our hike, I noticed that the Entenmann’s coffee cake box was open (all our food was stored inside our tent). I closed it up and didn’t think anything about it until later that night. When it came time to cook dinner I noticed that there was moisture inside the bread. Then I noticed that there was a huge chunk taken out of the plastic and the bread had been half eaten.

Now there were NO holes in the tent. AND the tent was completely zipped up. I remember we struggled with the zipper a little to open it when we came back from the hike. I think the terrorist squirrel high-tailed it back to our camp and ate some of our food!

Joe before we called it a night...

That night Joe conked out early. I listened to an old radio show on tape I borrowed from the library. It was so cool to be in the dark and listen to an old mystery show!

Sunday, poor Joe was stiff as a board. We did some hiking along the rim and saw some gorgeous views. We also took the shuttle around to various points.

Joe demonstrating how easy it is to fall off the rim...

I noticed that there was only trash around the major bus stops and viewpoints. I have a theory that the big fat Americans who can’t hike are the ones who dump all their trash into the Canyon. The svelte Europeans and Asians who hike the trails (and understand ecology and ecosystems), keep their trash in their backpacks until they find a receptacle. I know that’s (racist?) probably an unfair assumption, but it seemed good at the time.

Pretty view...

Also, Joe pointed out that all of the Asian (or Orientals if you’re if a certain mother-in-law) tourists had English writing on their t-shirts. I noted that all of the Americans had Asian writings on their tattoos. Isn’t that odd?

It would be impossible to sum up the weekend. It was immensely wonderful. I told Joe that I saw one of the Great Wonders of the World, with the Great Wonder of My World. Nothing radical occurred. We didn’t have spiritual epiphanies. And nothing too crazy happened (besides the squirrel). But it was definitely memorable.

The Great Wonders of the World...

HAPPY TUNESDAY MOTHERFUCKERS!

When hiking, two things kept repeating in my mind. “I like to shop at the duty free shop.” It’s from Seinfeld. Don't ask--it was hot and I was tired. But the other thing was the song My Immortal by Evanescence. I’m not exactly sure why. But it’s a pretty song. Here it is.